uragiru | «Ｒ» INBOX.

[Pick, pick, pick.

Software is useless without hardware that can properly execute it. In another world - she'd explain, when allowed to really get on a roll - hardware is Someone Else's Job, unless you make it yours, and when you make it yours you trade your trust for time. Hacking is thought of as a solitary, introspective pursuit, and that's not wrong, but hacking is also full of dependencies. As a hobby, profession, and culture, it's built on negotiating dependencies, deciding whose work to trust and whose work to eschew, usually exchanging faith in corporate product for faith in personal connections.

(Managing those personal connections, in Erika's sphere, is also Someone Else's Job.)

Under the current circumstances, though? You make do. To be a hacker is to use resources to solve a problem. Not applying yourself is just not a respectable way to go about things. If the hard way is the only way, then you're doing things the hard way.]

Mm. It raises some awkward questions for me about the motives involved...like if it's a case of being sent away, or released. [She shakes her head, though. That's kind of secondary and she doesn't want to give it too much thought right now.] I guess it's moot if we can't control or prevent it either way, but it's the way people react to it as a belief that I've been thinking about. If we rest our sense of security on thinking there's already a way out, we do better in the short term. But what happens if we get evidence that contradicts that? Maybe it's better to temper our expectations.

[She slides the sheet of dissected pieces to him to look over.]

Also, not everyone takes it the same way. It's alienating to have your needs run counter to everyone else's. Now that so many people talk about "going home" like it's a reward, or the primary goal...

[ it's funny. he's never really had a hobby, or an interest. when Akechi took something up, it used to be that it was for the purpose of presentation, and he only ever looked at it that way, as a test, as something he had to do right. learning at the pace Erika teaches him has carved out a different space in his perspective, because it can't fit where things usually do. he can't perform for her, or even for anyone else yet. so instead he has to just... consider things as they come, try to fit them into the knowledge he has now and see where the edges line up. like building a jigsaw puzzle as Erika hands him the pieces of it.

which is to say, he takes the sheet and looks it over with quiet interest, and knows that this is unusual for himself. ]

I think you've summarised the problem precisely. People tend to want goals. They find it easier to continue if they can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But there's a risk of complacency in hope, especially one that isn't under our control. [ this is where he does rein himself in a little, presents a calmer front; inside, he feels nothing but disdain for the way people are latching onto the desperate belief that the disappeared passengers have gone home. blind idealism like that has never done anyone well, and it spreads like a poison.

what Erika said takes precedent, though, and after a moment of processing it in silence, he looks at her with a hint of confusion in the way his brow furrows. ]

Ah... Mishima-san, if your needs run counter, then... [ it's an easy conclusion to move towards, since his situation is the same: ] Your goal isn't to return home?

[Immediately:] It was hypothetical.

[Almost immediately:] But, yeah.

[Her brows pull together in a very cross-with-the-world kind of look. This is...not comfortable. And she's questioning the wisdom of having told him that. The alternative would be lying outright, though, so.

Soooo.]

...Don't tell anyone, by the way.

[Said lowly. Having to ask that as a favor makes her feel kind of. Hmmrgr.]

[ Akechi watches the displeased look that comes over her, having put that information out in the open. wonders, a little, at her having told him at all. she could have dismissed it as hypothetical, and she surely knows that he wouldn't have pressed for a confession; he's always been vague, even playing the detective, and he only has to be more so now, when he's unwilling to offer anything about his own life from before the station. she didn't have to tell him the whole truth of it.

but she did tell him, and it's obvious that she doesn't like the request she has to make for secrecy. it's a vulnerability. emotional blackmail, however, is not a currency he's ever dealt in. he's not interested in it. and what good would it do him here, where he's not only alone but trapped against any enemies he might make, where there's nothing to reach for but thin threads of connections, and even then, grasping those only to keep himself secure?

a smile crosses his face — fake, only because it's a wry kind of smile, no real mirth in it. ]

I won't. [ he doesn't need emotional blackmail, or the exchange of petty favours. what Akechi has always prioritised is manipulation. ] After all, I'm the same as you.

[ never mind that it is an honest relief to be able to say that out loud to someone he's fairly certain will understand it, without preaching to him about hope or telling him that he's giving up. never mind that, if it's Erika, he's comfortable sharing this with her for no gain at all. it's manipulation. it will always be manipulation, because if it weren't, she wouldn't stay. ]

[Well. That's reasonable. And somehow she's not surprised.

She does want a moment to mull that over, though, so she hums and returns to the headset, examining a tangle of wires. She's not all that surprised - she hadn't assumed it, with nothing to base an assumtion on, but the reveal doesn't shock her, for some reason. Ande shock or surprise aside - it's nice, give that the whole topic is the future, and goals, and the kind of things that work better in groups.

That's two people who intend to stick around and cobble together a future in space, whether or not a way "home" is available. There have to be more.]

I don't think there's anything...bad about wanting different. Inherently. Or, you know, shameful. It just...you know. [Fiddle fiddle fiddle.] People get overbearing. And in the long run, if there's any tension...it seems like trouble. So obviously I won't run my mouth either.

[LET'S MOVE ON.]

[ her assurance is unnecessary; he didn't doubt even for a moment that she would keep that reveal to herself. and isn't that— strange, to trust something like that so completely. it makes him uncomfortable to realise how much faith he'd had in her. he has what she shared as insurance, of course, but... if he hadn't, he wonders if he would have had that kind of trust anyway. it's not a good thought. he needs to get his shit together, stop letting his guard down like this.

the discomfort crosses his face briefly, just a reaction of almost mild confusion when Erika promises not to tell anyone, but Akechi shakes his head soon after and collects himself: ]

Precisely. There's no need to speak up about it, anyway; our goals are still aligned with theirs, after all. Everyone is trying to understand the station and the situation we're in, whatever their reasons for it.

[ he can only imagine how insufferably self-aggrandising some of the people aboard the station would be if they found out, as if it's something to be "saved" from. what business is it of theirs what choices he makes of his own free will? well — not even a choice, really. he has nothing to go back to. but that's not really something they're talking about; it's not something he thinks Erika wants to talk about, so he gladly shifts back to their original topic. ]

I wonder if there are any patterns to the disappearances. I'm not sure that we could ever trace where they're going, but anything we can learn at this stage might be useful.

[It's a relief. A slightly hollow relief - Erika senses something missing, a pothole kind of like the lie-by-omission she's been feeding Hajime about her life before, and she feels a little strange and guilty about it here, too.

But, a relief.]

I have video of all the ones that happened in public areas. The only pattern that jumps out to me is that nobody else was physically present for any of them.

Hm. A buddy system wouldn't work, because even if they slept in shifts, that still leaves a window where the person on watch isn't being observed... and I imagine enforced pairs would only result in everyone becoming irritable, anyway.

[ really, he doubts this guesswork is going to go anywhere. they don't have enough information, and they have no way to test their theories. but it's something to talk about, since the subject is on their minds anyway. ]

Were they grouped together in timing?

There was a small cluster around the time the gravity came back, but not distinct enough to say for sure it wasn't just random.

[...Hold on. Erika leans over and pulls the manual back to her, looking from it to the innards of the headset with an intent hum.]

This really isn't like what I'm used to, [she mutters.]

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