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@ CROW
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I'm afraid I'm not available at the moment. If you leave a message, I'll be sure to get back to you.
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@ CROW
text / audio / video / action
I'm afraid I'm not available at the moment. If you leave a message, I'll be sure to get back to you.
code credit
no subject
That said, you're not giving them enough credit. Again.
Or do you intend on forgetting and distorting everything that was said and happened before you threw your life away.
[ Okay, that wasn't controlling his anger but Akechi is working really hard on the willful ignorance and Ren is Not Having It. ]
Because this place is a pressure cooker. Boil down sincerity and artifice and what do you think people will see?
[ He supposes Akechi might not answer, or might abruptly shut off contact again. Maybe as long as he has his attention, whether or not he gets a response, he should make himself clearer and prepare for his communication with Akechi to go on cooldown again. ]
Please don't make the same mistakes.
no subject
it's blindness. it has to be. it's this idiotic, starry-eyed faith in a better world that doesn't exist, one that Akechi would never be a part of even if it did. and when that wears off in time, he'll be tossed aside again, the same as always. ]
I'm not one of your projects, you know.
My heart was never changed.
And there was no saving me.
no subject
And if that's all you see when you look at us then you're a pretty shoddy detective.
[ Fuck what you think. What good has it done you, first making you cling to a lost cause til death and now what the hell are you doing, acknowledging that you were fooled and then behaving the exact same way.
The point of it was always that there's something he wants to save if he can see it. Akechi doesn't get to decide there isn't if Ren knows that it exists.
It's not so hard to understand Ren if you accept that people have intrinsic worth. That's the difference between Ren and Akechi.
... ]
Do you want your heart to be changed?
no subject
Wouldn't that be taking the easy way out?
[ it's a difficult question to think about, much less answer. would he become a completely different person, if his heart were changed? what does that mean for the person that he is now — what if there's nothing in him worth saving, and he can't even recognise himself after everything black and evil is drawn out like poison from a wound? or maybe they change it and over time, he just goes back to the way he was when he's inevitably discarded one too many times.
he changed himself for a reason. this isn't where he wanted to be, but it's over now. he doesn't need anything else. ]
I don't know what my heart looks like
but I don't want you anywhere near it.
[ not that he doesn't want it changed. but that he doesn't want Ren to see it. ]
no subject
No.
[ The prisons inside Mementos's depths still send a icy blade down to the bone whenever Ren thinks of them. The deepset eyes, devoid of will, denied their distorted desires and thus all their desires.
But it isn't evil so much as terrible scar tissue that's stopping him from choosing a different path and doesn't that make him more like Futaba than anyone else whose hearts they stole? Futaba was stopped, unable to move forward without a catalyst for change, and even then they didn't change her so much as unstopper her heart. And after that Ren was with her every step of the way as she learned how to change herself.
That was hard work. Don't call it to an easy way out. ]
Fair enough.
[ For now. ]
Don't avoid me.
[ Ren tosses his comm to the desk across from his bed and flops onto his back, placing the pillow over his face and simply breathing. In and out. ]